An amazing, humbling gift

Today I got one of the most thoughtful, cherished gifts I have ever received as a teacher. In fact, in all my years as a son, student, construction worker, butcher, baker, candlestick maker, and starving unpublished poet, I cannot recall a gift as the one I opened today. Aside from my job as a parent (which I really don't view as a "job" per se, especially since the hours are horrible and the pay is even worse) today's surprise was almost as good as the time my kids cut up my Larry Bird rookie card and put my face where his was (previous incident embellished for dramatic effect--I did that very thing for my OWN father in 1984).

The best part about today's wonderful reward had nothing to do with the hours and hours and dollars and hours of time spent in creating the handmade gift over a course of two years. Neither did it have anything to do with the fact that it was a 30-page book with letters etched into gold-plated papers strewn with diamonds and rubies inlaid around the perimeter of each page (again this is exaggerated, but the fact that everything was hand-typed, as opposed to "typed by the hoof of a team of oxen" and professionally bound in a tightly-wound spiral spine lead me to see the precious jewels nonetheless).

The best part was that the two girls who collected, compiled, and collated the copious amounts of crap considerable content did so not only for ME, but for three of my closest, most respected colleagues. To give such a memorable gift to four different people, with the same covert comprehensiveness as these two girls did, it's amazing that they not only graduated at the very top of their class but made perfect scores on their AP test. If I, myself, had been charged with collecting the "non-critical curricular content" as they, I couldn't have concentrated, much less mastered, what the collection of material was actually trying to convey.

To keep the gift more personal, I will not go into more detail about what it was that was actually given, only to say that it was a book of collected mutual experiences over a span of an intimate academic year (or even two or three!) between awesome students and proud, passionate, pokerfaced teachers: a gem that will survive for posterity and will serve as an amazing, salient, and palpable reminder when times aren't so rosy of why people like the four of us fortunate teachers get into the business to begin with.

I'm proud and humbled to have received such an honorable and amazing gift that I can share with me, myself, I, and my family, and although I will miss the daily interactions with these and all my other amazing former students, I know they will continue to do well and succeed in each and everything they do if only they exert and exhibit a fraction of the effort and enthusiasm they put forth while under my tutelage.

As they each get older, wiser, more experienced, and richer, I only ask that if I'm NOT invited to the eventual wedding, that I am at LEAST invited to be their Facebook friend.

We're such animals

Want to hear about my trip to Disney World this Summmer?

Are you all ears. . .?


. . .what a time spent at Disney World again this year! With four parks and so much to see, this year's summer vacation was like an entirely different destination than last year's trip to the same wonderful place. But this year's experience was not only enhanced because of the insight gained from last year's trip, but also for a number of reasons.

For starters, the day we got there, it began to pour down in buckets, closing the pool at the Animal Kingdom Jambo House Lodge, much to the disappointment of my restless, traveling-in-a-car-for-hours weary kids. Coming from the nationally recognized drought-stricken area known as Central Texas, seeing rain (I THINK it was real and not just an elaborate Disney effect) was so magical, I felt like going to the Magic Kingdom and just walking up Main Street with my tongue held out.

It rained much more during our 8-day stay, and I'm proud to report that the pre-purchased ponchos from the Dollar General store in good ol' NB worked as well as the $8 ones with Mickey's mug that permeated the park during a downpour like cash permeated the register drawers in the park.

Last summer, on day two, my son got sick, really sick, and we spent our entire third day in a non-Disney minor emergency center watching a "Reba" sitcom marathon amongst Orlando's indigent just to get an overpriced script of antibiotics that weren't covered by insurance. And I thought Mickey set a Human trap! The rest of the trip was only tolerated as my sick, infected son melted in the son and forced smiles when I made him take pictures with the characters. This year, he (and everyone else) was as strong as Hercules (a character seldom seen or marketed at the park).

Additionally, last year, my then 5-year-old princess had the legs of a newborn Bambi, as I had to carry her most afternoons and evenings. This year, even though we came prepared with a stroller, she galloped through every park from opening to close often going through what looked like an epileptic fit of joy on the evening shuttle bus rides back to the lodge. Her mother and I met a lot of new people on the bus because of this, even though they were moving away from us as we befriended them . . .

On the bus with Jenna

With all the rich experiences (that leave you poor) we had this summer, by far the best part of trip was all the food and dining experiences. The smartes adjustment we made from last year, in addition to bringing our own antibiotics and the stroller, was to pack only pants and shorts that had expandable waistbands. Purchasing the dinner plan, our entire experience was planned around where our breakfast, lunch, and dinner reservations would be. The buffets were amazing, and not just because they had sneeze guards over the food, but the food itself was culinary cuisine. The African themed buffet at our resort was by far the best. "Boma" is a smorgasbord of authentic dishes that tempt the pallet and stuff the belly (almost all of which is either already off the bone, or at least killed and skinned in advance). Who knew falafel was so delicious or that one could eat 25 falafel balls . . . after a full course of other exquisite entrees? One really gets in touch with his saber-toothed tiger (a saber-toothed tiger with a wallet) at a restaurant like that. Then there was dessert and those addicting Zebra Domes. How dare they make them so delicious and bite size?! Thank God for elastic waistbands.




To make a long blog short, if you've never been to Disney World, you've gotta go. Unfortunately, you've also gotta come back (they actually have fine print on their literature that says their resort hotel rooms CANNOT be permanent addresses.) 'Tis the most magical place in the world where everyone is so happy and friendly, food is amazingly tasty and plentiful, landscapes are impeccably manicured, T-shirts run under $30 ($29.99) standing in line for rides is an air-conditioned educational experience, everyone wears Oakley's, you don't need long ears to be Goofy, and, of course

it rains!

TV Trip

I was very disappointed and confused last night when I turned on the boob tube (if that's what you call a 52-inch plasma, high-def, digital television).

Sadness came to me, but it wasn't because I didn't find myself winning the million dollars on GSN's "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

I was perplexed, but it wasn't the result of the dials on my remote control being mysteriously rearranged.

I felt a bit blue viewing the idiot box, but not as a result of the much anticipated mid-season premiere of "GHI" being a major let down, but for the new "Ashley" investigator.

The puzzling scenario had nothing to do with the fact that my kids wanted to watch something other than "Hannah Montana."

You might think I'd be disapointed with television when I can can't tune into any new episodes of MacGyver, Stargate SG-1, or the Golden Girls, but that wasn't it either (besides, I've got all but one of those series on DVD).

It would be enormously confusing during a tv-watching session if, while flipping throught the hundreds of available channels, there was actually something worth watching, but that didn't throw me off last night.

Most people would cry tears if the batteries in the remote finally went dead (have they EVER been replaced), meaning we'd have to either change the channels manually or get up to find new batteries, however, my batteries were fully-charged the evening prior to tonight.

How bizzare it would be if the food on the Food Network actually wafted their glorious aromas into your living room, but unfortunately, all I smelled during "Man vs. Food" was my own armits.

Melancholy might set in if I was watching a show on the DVR, only to miss the last 5 minutes because the recorder ran out of space, and bewildered I'd be if the reason the DVR ran out of room wasn't because of month's loads of Hannah Montana episodes hadn't been deleted. But last night, the only show in the DVR recorded list was "The Real Lincoln."

If anyone would need comforting if they tuned in to watch their favorite show only to find it was pre-empted by a State of the Union Address, but the evening after two night's ago was not a night Obama spoke to the nation.

A distressing dither would no doubt manifest if a television network ran one of those ". . . this is a test of the emergency broadcast systems . . ." but it was actually NOT a test. But yesterday's evening didn't even bring me a routine false alarm.

So what had me so despairingly dejected and perturbedly puzzled while watching television last night?

I couldn't find ANY Michael Jackson programming!

Maybe I didn't try hard or long enough, or maybe things are returning to normal.

Thank God there's Youtube.

Greatest Metal Vocalists of All Time!!

After not blogging for some time, I wanted to come back with something that was thought-provoking, comprehensive, and a bit controversial. I've spent the better part of the day coming up with my list of what I think are the best rock/metal vocalists of all time.

I came up with a list of 100 people, which was surprisingly difficult to assemble (many were left off the list), listed in descending order from greatest to 100th greatest. I paid no mind to popularity, albums sold, length of hair, sexual orientation, etc. but instead rated them on their soulful ability to hit the notes, passion, and their ability to emote the music. Many of them have octave ranges of either 4 or 5 and can crack glass without effort. Although I can handle the second on the rare occasion I do the dishes, I can't compete with them with my paltry 0.43 octave range, even though the gene is in my blood, as quite a few gentlemen and gentlewomen from my ancestral land of Finland (you'll notice their names when you read them)--the homeland of Progressive/Symphonic Metal--make the list.

I case you haven't heard of some of the guys, look them up on Wikipedia. Check some of these guys out when you have a chance. They're all worthy of a download and listen. Feel free to disagree and/or come up with your own list, but don't knock 'em 'til you've tried 'em.

Let the discussion begin . . .

My top 100 Rock/Metal vocalists of all time.

1. Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden)
2. Tony Kakko (Sonata Arctica)
3. Chris Cornell (Soundgarden, Audioslave)
4. Steve Tyler (Aerosmith)
5. Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
6. Geoff Tate (Queensrÿche)
7. Hansi Kürsch (Blind Guardian)
8. Axl Rose (Guns ‘N Roses)
9. James LaBrie (Dream Theater)
10. Jon Bon Jovi (Bon Jovi)
11. Ronnie James Dio (Black Sabbath)
12. Ivan Moody (Five Finger Death Punch)
13. Timo Kotipelto (Statovarius)
14. Sebastian Bach (Skid Row)
15. Matt Barlow (Iced Earth)
16. Phil Anselmo (Pantera)
17. Glenn Hughes (Black Sabbath, Deep Purple)
18. Paul Rodgers (Bad Company)
19. Tony Harnell (TNT)
20. Corey Taylor (Slipknot)
21. Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)
22. Dave Mustaine (Megadeath)
23. Klaus Meine (The Scorpions)
24. Rob Halford (Judas Priest)
25. Miljenko Matijevic (Steelheart)
26. Glenn Danzig (Misfits, Danzig)
27. Ari Koivunen (Finnish singer)
28. Bon Scott (AC/DC)
29. Freddie Mercury (Queen)
30. David Draiman (Disturbed)
31. Jarko Ahola (Teräsbetoni)
32. James Hetfield (Metallica)
33. Maynard James Keenan (Tool, A Perfect Circle)
34. Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)
35. David Coverdale (Deep Purple, Whitesnake)
36. Sammy Hagar (Montrose, Van Halen, Chickenfoot)
37. Ozzy Osbourne (Black Sabbath)
38. Russell Allen (Symphony X)
39. Lance King (Avian, Balance of Power, etc)
40. Philip Labonte (All That Remains)
41. Marco Hietala (Nightwish)
42. Myles Kennedy (Alter Bridge)
43. Lemmy Kilmister (Motörhead)
44. Jonathan Davis (Korn)
45. Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, etc.)
46. Michael Sweet (Stryper)
47. Eric Adams (Manowar)
48. Ian Gillan (Deep Purple)
49. Andi Deris (Helloween)
50. Brian Johnson (AC/DC)
51. Geddy Lee (Rush)
52. Mark Slaughter (Slaughter)
53. David Defeis (Virgin Steele)
54. Tarja Turunen (Nightwish)
55. Amy Lee (Evanescence)
56. John 'Gio' Cavaliere (Black Majesty)
57. Serj Tankian (System of a Down)
58. Steve Perry (Journey)
59. Jeff Keith (Tesla)
60. Roy Khan (Kamelot)
61. Chad Kroeger (Nickelback)
62. Bono (U2)
63. Yama-B (Galneryus)
64. Howard Jones (Killswitch Engage)
65. Mikael Åkerfeldt (Opeth)
66. Robin McAuley (MSG)
67. Michael Kiske (Helloween)
68. Tim "Ripper" Owens (Beyond Fear, Yngwie Malmsteen)
69. Chuck Billy (Testament)
70. Jeff Scott Soto (Yngwie Malmsteen, Journey)
71. Joe Lynn Turner (Yngwie Malmsteen, Deep Purple)
72. Rob Zombie (Rob Zombie, White Zombie)
73. Wayne Static (Static X)
74. Pepper Keenan (Corrosion of Conformity)
75. Billy Corgan (The Smashing Pumpkins)
76. M. Shadows (Avenge Sevenfold)
77. King Diamond (King Diamond, Merciful Fate)
78. Randy Blythe (Lamb of God)
79. Anneke van Giersbergen (The Gathering)
80. Vince Neil (Mötley Crüe)
81. Chad Gray (Mudvayne, Hellyeah)
82. Blaze Bayley (Iron Maiden)
83. Dee Snider (Twisted Sister)
84. Don Dokken (Dokken)
85. Joan Jett (Joan Jett and the Blackhearts)
86. Ian Astbury (The Cult)
87. Alexi Laiho (Children of Bodom, Warmen)
88. Dennis DeYoung (Styx)
89. Anders Fridén (In Flames, Dark Tanquility)
90. Cristina Scabbia (Lacuna Coil)
91. Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society, Ozzy Osbourne)
92. Paul Di'Anno (Iron Maiden)
93. Roger Daltrey (The Who)
94. Steve Marriott (Small Faces, Humble Pie)
95. Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine)
96. Lajon Witherspoon (Sevendust)
97. Tom Araya (Slayer)
98. Ryan McCombs (Soil, Drowning Pool)
99. Shagrath (Dimmu Borgir)
100. Josh Todd (Buckcherry)