Mathematical Musings IX

More things I've said in math class.

• My wife and I use to sit behind each other in high school.
• You want to be careful that your scale on your graph is appropriate, so your graph doesn't get a fat axes.
• That's the biggest mistake I've made this period, period . . .exclamation point!
• To solve radical equations, you need to separate the radicals, just like the government does.
• You've got radicals in the numerator, radicals in the denominator, radicals under radicals . . . you've got radicals all over the place. We can't have that!! That will lead to civil unrest.
  
• If you have two radical terms in an equation, you still need to separate them, put them on their own sides. If there is anything more dangerous than one radical, it's two of them. Together they can start a revolution. It's best to keep them at bay.
• You may use your calculators, provided you take at least one battery out, in which case, they would make a good straightedge.
• The way I'm teaching it to you is different than the book. Here's the way the book teaches it. . . . . . . . . . . . .so if you see it done that way as you read, you won't be confused. How many of you actually read the book? (No one raises his hand.)
• As the values of x increase to infinity or decrease to negative infinity, the y values increase to infinity and decrease to negative infinity respectively. They do get closer and closer and closer to the equation of the slant asymptote. The slant asymptote, then becomes like a stairway to heaven or the road to hell.
• I don't think you can hack a math problem of that size. You are such a bad axe.
• We are going to name our daughter after you, so for the rest of my life when I tell her to, "sit down and shut up," I'll think of you.
• I think e-mail is ruining the English language. People are becoming so causal and lazy that they don't use proper headings and they abbreviate everything, including abbreviations. LOL . . . JK
• I'm going to put a Big As__terisk by this one. Why do you think that one has a Big As___terisk by it?*
• What do we do if there are three radicals in the problem? Student: Can we just erase one of them? Korpi: No, that would make us no better than the federal government.
• No matter how large the values of 1 you choose, or how perfect the marriage is, 2 does not equal one.
• As you take the test, keep this in mind: I expect you to be proficient AND efficient.
• A Pleonasm is when someone uses too many words, sometimes repetitive, thoughts, ideas, or symbols, or words to express a certain, particular, or certain idea, thought, or idea.
• Whenever you square both sides of an equation, you are basically sending out open invitations for charlatan roots. If they sneak in under your radar, it's your obligation to snuff 'em out.
• I think I need to go on temporary disability. I think I have dry-erase marker elbow.
• I think that students who can't come to school on any given day should be required to find a substitute student who will come sit in the desk for them until they return. That way teachers can come in and ask, "are we having a sub today?" so they know when to have free days.
• Student: Mr. Korpi, you're one of the most interesting teachers I've ever had. Korpi: It's only because I teach one of the driest subjects.
• You know how amazing my son is? He's only two. The other day I said, "Tate, you're so amazing." He quickly replied, "I know dad, but what's a Mazing?"
• I always forget to take roll. I'm guess I'm just absent-minded.
• You need to define your variables, so if you say at "c", you need to specify "where c is a constant." For example, if I were to say, I don't think we want to go there, that would be getting into unchartered c, where c is a body of water, or sea."
• I think that when I said I didn't like her class, she took it personally, thinking I didn't like her Class. What I meant, is that I didn't care for the class, in general. I should have been more specific.
• Student: You mean we can't use our calculators on the test? That's notfair. The SAT let's us use calculators. Korpi: I know, that's why I'm not. I want you to save your batteries for the SAT.
• This is a filler quote
• Some people fear calculus so much they think it's four-letter word. It's not, however. It is a four-letter word times two.
• I'm Mr. Korpi. I teach math, one of the driest subjects on campus. The good news is that I'm know as the guy who can put the moisture back in mathematics.
• I've said it once, I've said it twice, I'll say it again. I do not like to repeat myself.
• True or false, Calculus is fun. Let's just say true, since finding a counterexample might be difficult.
• These two problems are similar, yet alike somehow.
• Korpi: Sometimes, when I'm thinking and writing too fast, I misspell words. Student: It's a good thing you don't teach English. Korpi: No, I think I could handle English if that is what I was teaching, I would just make alot of math mistakes then.
• I'm just being facetious. That means jocular. Jocular doesn't mean athletic.
• When you use u-substitution, you can never lose sight of what u is. Pardon my poor English. I know it should be, "never lose sight of what u are, but I'm not trying to give you a life lesson, and in this case, u is singular.
• U-substitution is a very formal method for evaluating integrals, something that can be accomplished by pattern recognition, without having to get dressed up in a tuxedo.
• If you forget to graph your Removable Discontinuity, I'll take off a point. Think of it as a point-for-a-point system.
• I was very disappointed with the test. Now, I consider myself a pretty stand-up guy. Honest with integrity. I don't lie. So when I tell you that you are going to have a particular problem on the test, and soooo many people missed it, I can't help but think that y'all think I a big liar. Who's got the last laugh now?
• Everyone thought the test was so hard, cursing me under their breath for being so evil. Not a single person thanked me for making all the polynomial factorable, or for having nice integer solutions.
• You need to learn to use your calculator as a tool. At the very least, a crutch. Some of y'all use your calculator as a stretcher. If you need it for security, keep it under your desk, then if you panic, you can look down and see it there and say, "Whew, there you are calculator."
• Homework is soooo important. I only weight is as 30% but it is really more important than the exam itself. I hate to use sports analogies because they are so cliché, be here it goes. Math is like a sport. Imagine the football team who made it to the Super Bowl. You think they made it there without practice? What about for the big game? You think they would stay up all night practicing for the big game then show up to play the day of? They would either fall asleep before the first snap or lose the game shortly after. It's the daily discipline where they develop the proficiency and endurance that is the most important. Game day is time to just show up and execute what have learned how to do through practice, practice, practice. I have no sympathy for people who tell me they were up 'til 4 in the morning studying. They are going to lose the first snap. The game itself is the hallmark event, but the winner is forged before that time ever comes.
• i is the imaginary unit. It also make a good subject pronoun. It doesn't make a good predicate pronoun, although many valiantly try. The truly creative use the reflexive form as a subject pronoun, when there is no modifying subject upon which to predicate it. This drives me crazy. I just imagine they never said it. Which brings us back to the imaginary unit.
• I think a good SAT word is "test." I think it describes it appropriately well.
• I think if photocopying were an Olympic event, the staff of our school would win the Gold every year. Though many might try to copy us, I don't think any other school can duplicate what we do.
• Did you hear about the blind guy who walks into a bar and says, "Ouch," as he grabs his hip. "I wish somebody would have told me that was there."
• Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9. He also killed 10. And hangs out with 666. And has bad breath, and is a close-talker.
• Remember, Jesus wants you to be good at math. "Go forth and multiply," he said. He also said, "Do your homework, especially for Mr. Korpi."