Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Can't Get Enough

Have you been watching the NCAA Women's Softball Tournament?!? My wife sure has. Lettering in just about every OTHER sport in high school, softball was not something my wife played. Perhaps that's only because it wasn't available to girls back in 1992 (she DID, however, try out for the baseball team, but didn't make it because she made all the boys look like, well . . . GIRLS.)

Yes, my beautiful wife is very athletic and loves television programing. Trading in her "jock strap" (although she never wore one) for "protocals" and documenting "SAEs" she is still at the top of her game. Working efficiently each and every day, accomplishing in one day what takes others at least two days (only because she has to wait on these "other" people), she is the still the "captain of the varsity team."

At least she is the ruler of the household. We all rely on her for pretty much everything. Without her, we'd be stinky, hungry, and miserable. When she comes home, she unwinds by tuning into her favorite form of passive indulgence. . . .me . . . .just kidding. She enjoys watching at least one program each night, which she often takes in while doing a variety of other things, like making dinner, giving baths (I LOVE getting those), packing lunches, setting out wardrobes for the next day (I'd dress like my DAD without her,) cleaning, and doing laundry. Sometimes the rest of us feel just plain guilty watching her do it all . . . but it IS a sight to behold.

Anyway, this past week she has enjoyed tuning into the NCAA women's softball world series. For whatever reason, whether she thinks she could "take" those girls (and believe me I KNOW she could. You should see her swing a bat . . . at my head!), or whether she pines for a day where she could have had the opportunity to "take it to state" with her Pee-Wee "Frauline" team of 1984, we don't question her motives for watching. Instead, we just cater to her new addiction. We get her food and water as she multi-tasks on the sofa, ask to fluff her pillow, and stay out of the way between her line of sight and the 27-inch square television set.

Tonight is game two in the best of 5 series. Last night, Arizona State thumped the Lady Aggies (who were consistently running the bases from third to second to first, although they never got past third.) Don't tell her, but the family and I (meaning my 8-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter) have decided to take her out tomorrow to watch game three. Being a woman of uncompromising principal without any vice (except ME!), we will likely take her to Luby's cafeteria, hoping they have a big screen TV. Just kidding (JK.) There is a nice (expensive and dark) place here in town that USED to be the Luby's called the "Sports . . something or other" that has the bar separated from the restaurant. It would be a great place to take her to watch the game, especially if she orders rare steak and the cooks are bad . . . . (remember the lighting is poor.)

Not to say she doesn't like raw meat. She is very, very competitive. In fact, we fight over who loves our kids more . . . and she ALWAYS wins, with me giving in after she wins three arm-wrestling matches in a row. That woman is AMAZING. If they allowed one-person entries into the Softball world series, she'd be the first in line, and probably the ONLY person in line, as the competition would not only be intimidated by her presence, not to mention the realization that it would be a very BORING and one-sided event.

So please watch game two tonight. Cheer loudly for the Aggies as they come out of the batter's box. Yell "COUNTERCLOCKWISE!! COUNTERCLOCKWISE!!" I know they cannot hear you through the TV set, but THEY don't know that. I guarantee that you'll be hook by the quickness and quality of play. If you're not, you don't have a wife like mine . . . which you absolutely do not.


Anonymous said...

I don't know why I got so addicted to women's college softball this year. I've never watched it before, but it was fun. Now that the tournament is over, I can get back to my real life: watering the plants, feeding the animals, cooking, cleaning, shopping, the never-ending laundry, convincing my husband that he wouldn't last one day without me....

kwkorpi said...

you don't have to convince me. It's been a rough 3 days of summer already.

Brenda said...

You guys are funny. I played intramural softball this spring. It was a reminder that I don't do sports.

Hope you both have a great summer,

Anonymous said...

hey, I don't think I dress so bad, be careful with those remarks. And Shealynn does need to keep you dressed nice and tidy!


kwkorpi said...

teal shorts, navy blue socks pulled up high, collared green shirt tucked in, no belt, work shoes, and a Greg Norman hat . . . and that's only your "lawn cutting" outfit.

No, I guess you DON'T dress so bad . . . all the time.