A day in the life

Now that school has started back up, I'm trapped in my daily routine of unfulfilling minutia. Do this, then that, then that, then that again, then do it all over again the next day. Each moment is filled with actions that repeat themselves Monday through Friday.

Get up at 5:00, make coffee, check for the newspaper, watch Sportscenter, check for the paper, drink coffee, check for the damn paper, feign interest in the Houston Astros season, get the paper, look at the paper's pretty pictures, do the crossword, pretend to care about the American League highlights, feed dogs, personal hygiene, put on clothes the wife set out for me the night before, wake up family, get kids ready for school, see the wife off to work, feed the kids chicken Cordon Bleus for breakfast, watch SportsCenter top 10 highlights again, finish coffee, get in the car and drive away, turn around to make sure I closed the garage door and turned off the coffee maker, go by the in-laws' house so my kids can say "hi," get in the line to drop the kids off at school, make room for someone trying to turn into the drop-off line from the wrong *friggin*lane, give the kids kisses, hugs, and priceless advice, drop them off, get to the high school, curse when I find out my classroom hasn't been cleaned, greet the 1st tutorial student of the day, resist the urge to tell them they are there 15 minutes before tutorials officially begin, TEACH MATH AT A FRENETIC, EUPHORIC, NON-STOP PACE, watch the clock for 20 minutes until my contract day ends, go to the in-laws to pick up the kids, spend 20 minutes telling my kids "we're leaving now, come on, I'm leaving without you, get your stuff, just 1 more minute, I'm serious, you can walk home, give Grammy and Poppy hugs and kisses, where are your shoes? and socks? do you have your bag? your homework? I'm leaving. . . . ," get home, check the mail, put the kids on their homeworks, sign their folders, listen to the stories of their day at school while I do a little housework to impress the wife before she gets home, feed the doges, feed and water the chickens and check their eggs, tell the neighbor girl to go home 'cause the kids are doing homework and that 3-year-old girls shouldn't come over to play without an adult, tell my son to practice his piano, make subtraction worksheets for my daughter, listen to the sound of no piano playing, yell a bit, check homemade math homework for correctness, correct a misplayed piano note, greet the wife when she gets home, help with making dinner making next-day's lunches and picking out next day's clothes (except my own), eat with the family while we talk about all the upcoming events that we need to fit into our schedule, I clean the dishes while the kids dote on their mother as she sits in the recliner relaxing while ET and the local news play, coerce my kids away from their mother and "encourage" them to take the dogs for a walk around the block with me, I take the dogs for a walk by myself, water the dogs, get the kids into the shower, listen to the wife's monologue about her day, nod in period affirmation while the wife speaks while trying to determine in the back of my mind if my child has spent too much time in the shower wasting water, I yell "hurry it up in there!! You wanna turn into a raisin??," get the kids dressed, make them read on their own a bit, do a bit of grading/planning for school while the wife watches primetime TV, tell the kids to go to bed, recreate on the world wide web, tell the kids to go to bed again, check the Astros score on the internet, tell the kids if they don't go to be now they can sleep outside with the dogs, personal hygeine, tell the kids they are WAY up past their bedtime, check out ESPN on the tube while doing crunches, burpees, and pushups, demand that the kids go to bed or I'll take away their birthdays, personal hygiene, read a book while the wife watches the evening news, turn off the TV that plays to a sleeping audience, finish the chapter in my book, check on the (finally) sleeping kids, lay in the dark in bed thinking about all the things I didn't get done today and all the things I have to do tomorrow, finally doze off only to be awaken every 3 hours by the incessant noisome barks from my ADD yellow lab, wake up WAY TOO SOON.

At least today is almost behind me and tomorrow's another BRAND NEW DAY.

Thoughts on a particular color

Green is . . .

• not my favorite color.
• the color of my envy for those whose favorite color is green.
• verdant.
• associated with Martians, even though Mars is red.
• is a noun, adjective, and a mistaken adverb.
• is the best color my kids can get at school for their conduct.
• is the worst color my kids' hot dogs can be in their school cafeteria.
• is the actual color of my kids' hot dogs in their school cafeteria.
• is nearly chartreuse
• the latest fad.
• very expensive.
• something worth going.
• not easy to be.
• the old color of my grass before the summer of 2009.
• an unnatural hair color.
• a signal meaning "go" for a grape, "wait" for a banana, and "stop" for a school hot dog (a la Mitch Hedberg).
• is a funny color for a lantern.
• the color of some bugs (see photo above or click here.)
• the only color that can get you pinched if you're not wearing it on one particular day.
• a color that often appears in the loo after a fresh insertion of "2000 flushes." (oooh gross . . . )
• a difficult topic for an entire blog.

Tell me what green is to you by replying.

An amazing, humbling gift

Today I got one of the most thoughtful, cherished gifts I have ever received as a teacher. In fact, in all my years as a son, student, construction worker, butcher, baker, candlestick maker, and starving unpublished poet, I cannot recall a gift as the one I opened today. Aside from my job as a parent (which I really don't view as a "job" per se, especially since the hours are horrible and the pay is even worse) today's surprise was almost as good as the time my kids cut up my Larry Bird rookie card and put my face where his was (previous incident embellished for dramatic effect--I did that very thing for my OWN father in 1984).

The best part about today's wonderful reward had nothing to do with the hours and hours and dollars and hours of time spent in creating the handmade gift over a course of two years. Neither did it have anything to do with the fact that it was a 30-page book with letters etched into gold-plated papers strewn with diamonds and rubies inlaid around the perimeter of each page (again this is exaggerated, but the fact that everything was hand-typed, as opposed to "typed by the hoof of a team of oxen" and professionally bound in a tightly-wound spiral spine lead me to see the precious jewels nonetheless).

The best part was that the two girls who collected, compiled, and collated the copious amounts of crap considerable content did so not only for ME, but for three of my closest, most respected colleagues. To give such a memorable gift to four different people, with the same covert comprehensiveness as these two girls did, it's amazing that they not only graduated at the very top of their class but made perfect scores on their AP test. If I, myself, had been charged with collecting the "non-critical curricular content" as they, I couldn't have concentrated, much less mastered, what the collection of material was actually trying to convey.

To keep the gift more personal, I will not go into more detail about what it was that was actually given, only to say that it was a book of collected mutual experiences over a span of an intimate academic year (or even two or three!) between awesome students and proud, passionate, pokerfaced teachers: a gem that will survive for posterity and will serve as an amazing, salient, and palpable reminder when times aren't so rosy of why people like the four of us fortunate teachers get into the business to begin with.

I'm proud and humbled to have received such an honorable and amazing gift that I can share with me, myself, I, and my family, and although I will miss the daily interactions with these and all my other amazing former students, I know they will continue to do well and succeed in each and everything they do if only they exert and exhibit a fraction of the effort and enthusiasm they put forth while under my tutelage.

As they each get older, wiser, more experienced, and richer, I only ask that if I'm NOT invited to the eventual wedding, that I am at LEAST invited to be their Facebook friend.

We're such animals

Want to hear about my trip to Disney World this Summmer?

Are you all ears. . .?


. . .what a time spent at Disney World again this year! With four parks and so much to see, this year's summer vacation was like an entirely different destination than last year's trip to the same wonderful place. But this year's experience was not only enhanced because of the insight gained from last year's trip, but also for a number of reasons.

For starters, the day we got there, it began to pour down in buckets, closing the pool at the Animal Kingdom Jambo House Lodge, much to the disappointment of my restless, traveling-in-a-car-for-hours weary kids. Coming from the nationally recognized drought-stricken area known as Central Texas, seeing rain (I THINK it was real and not just an elaborate Disney effect) was so magical, I felt like going to the Magic Kingdom and just walking up Main Street with my tongue held out.

It rained much more during our 8-day stay, and I'm proud to report that the pre-purchased ponchos from the Dollar General store in good ol' NB worked as well as the $8 ones with Mickey's mug that permeated the park during a downpour like cash permeated the register drawers in the park.

Last summer, on day two, my son got sick, really sick, and we spent our entire third day in a non-Disney minor emergency center watching a "Reba" sitcom marathon amongst Orlando's indigent just to get an overpriced script of antibiotics that weren't covered by insurance. And I thought Mickey set a Human trap! The rest of the trip was only tolerated as my sick, infected son melted in the son and forced smiles when I made him take pictures with the characters. This year, he (and everyone else) was as strong as Hercules (a character seldom seen or marketed at the park).

Additionally, last year, my then 5-year-old princess had the legs of a newborn Bambi, as I had to carry her most afternoons and evenings. This year, even though we came prepared with a stroller, she galloped through every park from opening to close often going through what looked like an epileptic fit of joy on the evening shuttle bus rides back to the lodge. Her mother and I met a lot of new people on the bus because of this, even though they were moving away from us as we befriended them . . .

On the bus with Jenna

With all the rich experiences (that leave you poor) we had this summer, by far the best part of trip was all the food and dining experiences. The smartes adjustment we made from last year, in addition to bringing our own antibiotics and the stroller, was to pack only pants and shorts that had expandable waistbands. Purchasing the dinner plan, our entire experience was planned around where our breakfast, lunch, and dinner reservations would be. The buffets were amazing, and not just because they had sneeze guards over the food, but the food itself was culinary cuisine. The African themed buffet at our resort was by far the best. "Boma" is a smorgasbord of authentic dishes that tempt the pallet and stuff the belly (almost all of which is either already off the bone, or at least killed and skinned in advance). Who knew falafel was so delicious or that one could eat 25 falafel balls . . . after a full course of other exquisite entrees? One really gets in touch with his saber-toothed tiger (a saber-toothed tiger with a wallet) at a restaurant like that. Then there was dessert and those addicting Zebra Domes. How dare they make them so delicious and bite size?! Thank God for elastic waistbands.




To make a long blog short, if you've never been to Disney World, you've gotta go. Unfortunately, you've also gotta come back (they actually have fine print on their literature that says their resort hotel rooms CANNOT be permanent addresses.) 'Tis the most magical place in the world where everyone is so happy and friendly, food is amazingly tasty and plentiful, landscapes are impeccably manicured, T-shirts run under $30 ($29.99) standing in line for rides is an air-conditioned educational experience, everyone wears Oakley's, you don't need long ears to be Goofy, and, of course

it rains!