A Day in the Life

I had a weird dream last night. Here's the best of what I can remember in stream of consciousness. It was as if I was reading a script from a day in my own life.

It starts with an image of Korpi (me) waking up in his classroom, going jogging around the track (in the dark), going back to his room, doing the “Ab Cruncher,” and some difficult math problems (in his sweats), having breakfast of a bag of chips, Mountain Dew, watching Unicorn Announcements television. Then, takes a shower in the gym, phones his family at his real home saying how he can’t wait until the weekend when he’ll see them again. Jenna has said her first words? Really? She said, “why is Daddy never at home?” Oh, how cute. I wish you could bring her here now so I can kiss her.”

Move ahead to start of school day:

Class praises Korpi without end. “Mr. Korpi, we all read the next two chapters last night and want to be tested over them today. Please give us the test now, there’s no need for you to teach. You have inspired us to learn on our own, and we would like to make things easy to you. If we tell you that we owe all our future success in life and name our first three children after you, would you please just sit back for the rest of the year and let us excel on our own with the motivation with which you empowered us?”

Switch to Korpi waking up from a dream, smiling? Looks at the clock: 4:00 am, time to snooze. 4:09 (why is snoozing such an odd time? Who made that up?) Then he goes about his daily routine of sneaking around the house, checking for his Herald Zeitung, watching Sportcenter and drinking lots and lots of pots and pots of coffee. Load Kids, take to Grammy (Grandma.) Off to school at 6:00am. A student awaits in the hall. The day begins.

Korpi listens to Mp3s. on his hard-drive, reading email.

Teaches class,

After school, at 2:40, Korpi does duty in the hall. One lonely student in the 900 wing, innocent looking, going to a class for help on a problem. Korpi: “do you have business up here? You’d better!! Let’s act like we care. Act urgent. Get going! Math is fun, darnit. Duty continues until 3:15. Korpi leaves, goes immediately to . . .

a) Little Ceasar’s holding the 5$ pizza sign, dancing like mi carnales)

b) Don’s a vest as a Wal-Mart Greeter

c) The gym, where he puts on Eugene’s outfit and parades around the gym

d) Tutorial until 5. Wife calls several times. Korpi holds phone out while she talks, helping students off to the side. An occasional, “yes, dear,” into the phone.

5:00 gets the kids, takes them home, a little swinging, dinner, baths, books, and in bed by 8:30. Goodnight everybody. When everyone is asleep, Korpi wakes up, sneaks upstairs with a POT of coffee and works on the Riemann Hypothesis!!!!!!!!! “Man, it doesn’t get any better than this!”