Mathematical Musings: Part VIII

More of what I've actually said in class. . .

• Can anyone tell me what an algorithm is, and no, it’s not the former VP at a discothèque.
• Polynomial is made up of two parts: Polynom and ial.
• If you have two terms, you have a binomial. If you have only one term, you have mono . . . errrrr . . . not necessarily. If you have mono, you have something else altogether.
• Can a monomial be considered a polynomial, since poly means many and mono means one? I guess that comes down to whether one can be many. Sure, it can. If you previously had none, then received one, and a big one at that, then one can be considered many. It’s relative. As in oral hygiene: one cavity is too many.
• A corollary is a statement that almost automatically drops out of another statement. It is the immediate logical consequence of another conclusion. It is so obvious that it seldom needs proving, much less stating, but let’s do both here.
• Student: “Why do we even have to study imaginary numbers? They aren’t even real!” Korpi: “Be quiet! They’ll hear you!”
• Pardon my mistakes today on our first day back from a long winter break. If I botch a few numbers today, it’s because I wasn’t doing much math over the holidays like I know all of you did.
• What method of factoring do you use when you can’t factor by factoring?
• This will be the last problem I do because I’m running out of board, and because that’s what I’m getting.
• Student: “If you say you don’t know what the cubic equation is, how do you know about it?” Korpi: There are lots of things I know about but don’t know: like the quartic equation and the Periodic Table.
• Now if the chicken was actually a quintic function, and the x-axis was the road, the answer would be, of course, because he was an odd-degreed polynomial. (as an answer to ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’)
• Korpi to his A day students on a Thursday: “See y’all Monday. Have a great weekend . . . but come to school tomorrow, too. So, have good Friday, first; but not a good Friday where you can’t eat meat. I guess, have a great Friday, a super weekend, and when I see y’all again on Monday, that’ll be great.”
• Sometimes I feel like signing y’all in-class detention just so that I could have the opportunity to teach you more math.
• If you’ve never seen the derivation of the quadratic formula, let me know some day when we are sitting around with nothing to do. If you remember to remind me, I will show it to you. It is kind of long, but man, is it beautiful.
• Man, I am Pedantically, Didactically, and Pedagogically out of shape. That lesson exhausted me!
• The set of integers is a proper subset of the set of rationals. This means that every integer is also an integer. Not every rational, though, is an integer. It's like each of us. We are all members of the Sapien species, but we are also all Homos as well. There are many members of the Homo genus that aren't Sapiens, like Homo Erectus. OK, I'm going to stop this analogy now.
• Sure you can take the first two lunches, so long as the first one is taken in this room doing math. And don't take your food out, either. Heck, in that case, take all lunches today.
• Why do you keep looking at the door? I need to go to the bathroom. Oh, that makes sense. I was thinking, "it isn't time to go, yet." But for you, I guess it is.
• Tonight you are going to make a box. All you'll need is a sheet of paper, pencil, ruler, tape, and scissors. Be sure to get your parents assistance with the scissors, but don't run with them to ask them for help, and if you do it in front of the TV, don't sit too close. Be sure to floss before bedtime.
• Tonight you are going to make a box, nothing fancy. You can make it from aluminum, with seamless welds at the joints, with calligraphy engravings, or you can just use notebook paper.
• We are now at the point in calculus, since we have learned to take the derivative, where we are going to go backwards. Although we will be 'undoing' what we just did, we will not be losing ground, but rather making progress.
• Integration is viewed by many to be more difficult than differentiation because it involves going backwards. Going backwards is usually more difficult, just try getting the toothpaste back in the tube.
• Student coming in from outside: “OOOOh! It’s pretty chilly.” Korpi: That’s the same thing I said the last time I opened a can of Hormel.
• Fellow teacher at an inservice: "Since we're starting 30 minutes late, I hope that doesn't mean we are going to end 30 minutes late." Korpi: "Don't worry. These types of things always have a few extra hours built into them."
• Although giving partial credit in math education is highly prized by administrators, parents, and especially students, the fact remains that in the real world, there is no partial credit: the bridge either supports us or collapses.
• Overheard in a conversation: "I don't think I could ever start drinking coffee. I've seen people who depend on it, are addicted to the caffeine, people who can't function or begin their day without it. I don't think I ever want to let something have that much control over me." Korpi: "Tell me about it. I wish I would have known what you know before I ever first tasted ketchup."
• A superior once told me, "Here are your options . . ." then she told me which one to pick. Luckily, I was married, so this was not difficult for me.
• When I'm stuck in traffic, I like to look at a place on the side of the road and analyze it very carefully, then say to myself, " I am so thankful for this traffic jam. Without it, I would have probably never seen that tiny blade of grass next to that empty beer can, nor would I probably even want to."
• The efforts that got you in here won't be enough to get you out of here.
• The test will definitely not be a "cookie cutter" test from the review. It's more of a "hunt your prey, then kill and gut it with your bare hands" kind of test.
• When speaking ubiquitously, I like to use, have used, and will use, all the tenses.
• One of my pet peeves is when someone misuses a superlative case modifier or a reflexive pronoun. They, themselves, hurt my ears the mostest.
• Beware of Negative numbers! They'll bring you down. Gravity too!
• Is that a new haircut? You look more hairo-dynamic.
• Is that a new haircut, or did you just comb it shorter today?
• I have a photographic memory. I recall looking at some photos a few years ago.
• Happy Monday, everyone . . . and before anybody asks, the answer is, "Yes: I missed all of y'all as much as y'all missed me."
• So you were absent yesterday, huh? What was it? A bad case of the heebie jebbies? Or was it the Whillie Nillies?
• Checking your answer is a good habit to get into. So is the convent.
• So at x equals 3, we have a Vertical As . . . I mean a . . . I guess Asymptote is a word I need to finish once I start it.
• The idea of looking at the limit at a removable discontinuity, or a hole, is like getting as close as we can to the edge of the Grand Canyon. We climb over the guard railing and tiptoe to the edge to see what's going on at the hole. Once we get there, we say, "Oh look, a whole hole!"
• Today, each of you got up out of bed, brushed your teeth, got dressed, ate breakfast, and decided to come on in to school. You are here today because you wanted to. I'm here to tell you that with today's lesson you will not be disappointed. If I did give you a free day like y'all are asking, I would have made your waking up and coming to school today pointless.
• I want each of you to start buckling down and get ready for the AP exam. I want each of your names to get on my "wall of fame" back there before the end of the year. . . . I mean by the end of the start of next year, seeing as how I would make the name tags during the summer after I got your score, but you get the motivational gist of this speech . . .
• I want each of you to "think 5," that's AP 5. Heck, I be happy if each of you thought AP 3. Actually, think 5, that way if you fall short, you still have a shot at a 3. You know what they say about aiming for the stars . . . that's why they invented restraining orders, but I digest . . . hey, is it lunchtime yet?
• I say, aim for outer space, that way if you come up short, you're still in outer space. Hopefully, it's not in the asteroid belt or the Van Allen Radiation Belts. Let's hope you have a space suit and are tethered to a mothership. Maybe it's better to aim for something on the safety of the ground. Aim low, no wait . . . I should have more unspoke thoughts.
• I realize the objective percentages add up to 120%. That's all part of "raising the standards."
• What do I see here? Is that an imaginary number, or are my eyes just deceiving me?