Monday, November 5, 2007

Generic Post

When buying some products, I ask, "What's in a name?"
If buy the generic, am I getting the same?
Or am I getting something less grand,
When I buy the off-brand?
Take banana pudding, for instance, should I buy Jello?
Does it have more bananas than the cheaper one (or maybe more yellow?)
Why should I buy cola just because it says, "Coca?"
Or chocolate that goes for the price of an imported mocha?
Does the air in Nikes really make you jump higher?
or is it just a poor gimmick to win over some buyer?
Does my car run better on Pennzoil or Quaker State?
(and what do the Quakers know about oil, at any rate?)
For baby shampoo, does it have to be Johnson's?
And just because it's water seal, must it always be Thompson's?
These companies spend millions endorsing their wares
So that when we feel the urge to buy a product, we'll hopefully buy theirs.
With ads on TV, the radio, and in mags,
They create a subliminal preference for us to pay the bigger price tags.
But a lesser-known label's not necessarily inferior,
just because that company hasn't made advertising its priority superior.
Most substitutes work as well or better,
With a smaller cost, helping the the consumer not to become a debtor.
As for me, I'm not easily influenced by pricey ad campaigns.
To me, all different brands of the same thing are pretty much the same.
My frugality tells me to buy whatever's on sale,
Especially if it comes in a super-sized pail.
With so many different products on store shelves,
I do believe those no-named products have made quite a name for themselves.
Some products are so similar, they're almost dead ringers.
Like Cheetos and the lesser known, but equally delicious, Cheesefingers.
Twinkies are good, but what of other makes
Of delicious, white cream-filled, yellow cylindrical cakes?
Is Head and Shoulders really above the rest,
In their claim to fight dandruff the best?
Or is there another product we should try,
To condition a scalp that is flaky and dry?
And what about giants like Dole and Del Monte?
Or the various blends of Pace Picante?
It's hared to find a better-selling tea than Lipton,
But I believe a good tea has less to do with the tea than the water it's dipped in.
When it comes to toast, it's no good without a good topping.
And just choosing a brand is a big part of grocery shopping.
Jams and Jellies and good marmalades--
In my opinion, they're all similarly made.

There's Welches and Smucker's and Bama for a starter.
Some are sweeter, while others are tarter.
The cereal isle is dominated by Kellogs and Post,
But there are other brands that can certainly boast
About containing all the same essential minerals and vitamins,
So it wouldn't hurt on your next grocery list to writamin.
With all the name-brand products claiming to be the best,
I encourage you to take a look at the rest.
Next time you're in the store, don't squeeze the Charmin,
Instead, try something as soft, whose price is not so alarmin'.

You'll soon discover that all brands are the same,
And the only thing you're actually paying for is the name.

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