Things I have learned in the last 86400 seconds

Being a learning creature (and by no definition an "old dog,") I occasionally stumble over kernels of wisdom that force me to reshape my mental schema that, forever more, impact the way I live my life, and that help me to adapt to an ever-confusing environment. Here's what's been the topic of my metacognitive sessions in the last 86400 seconds.

• If it ain't broke, don't fix it. I'm not broke, so it's time to fix myself.
• The worse thing to do with methods that have proven successful is to continue to use those methods that have proven to be successful.
• When standing atop a normal distribution curve, there is only one way to go, and it's to slide down the slope to the right, and that's a bad thing.
• When others emulate your success, it's time to emulate their lack of it.
• When nothing is wrong, that's what's wrong.
  
• It's OK to contradict yourself in the same sentence, although it is unacceptable to do so.
• When speaking to a group of large, angry, hungry lions, it's best to keep telling them to focus on being positive.
  
• The best way to improve morale is through the use of post-it notes and fluorescent highlighters.
• It's amazing how much recycling material one can pick up in the course of a three hour meeting.
  
• The only consistency is inconsistency.
• Colleagues can be fun to converse with, especially when there is a common topic of ridicule.
• Google is God.
• In a group of 70, there is high probability that at least 5 of them were not invited to be there.
• When sitting through a meeting in an uncomfortable, plastic chair, both of your ends tend to go numb.
• A spoonful of sugar cannot mask a bitter taste.
• Sometimes it is fun to imagine that you are nothing more than a audience member watching a play, either a comedy or a tragedy.

And finally

• At most meetings, minutes are kept and hours are wasted.