To Kill a Mocking Bird

Did you hear about professional golfer Tripp Isenhour, yes, that's more than just Adlai Stevenson's 1952 Presidential smear campaign slogan, it's the guy's real name! Well, now he has earned himself an equally ignoble nickname: Kill Squawkinghawk

Last December, while filming a golf "how to" video, a golfer I've never heard of before and from whom I'd be very unlikely to buy a golfing video was repeatedly interrupted during his filming by a squawking, endagered red-shouldered hawk. With his concentration repeatedly broken and being unable to bear that a member of the Aves class was heckling him, Isenhour turned his golfing "how to" video into a hunting "how-to" video, when he abandoned his tips on how to drive and began taking aim at the feathered foe.

I guess the bird didn't realize that the guy taking shots at it was a card-carrying member of the PGA, because it didn't take the hints of swooshing golf balls blazing by it. Instead it remained in the area, preferring a site about 75 yards from the filming area. I guess when you're endangered and under federal protection, you can exhibit a bit of brazen hubris. Well, It took Isenhour only 10 shots before connecting with his target. The bird fell 30 feet from its perch in the tree and died shortly thereafter. Tripp accomplished his fatal fowl feat in one stroke under the 11 stroke par for such a course of action. It was his first birdie of the day! Had Tripp been a better golfer, he might have struck the bird in only 9 shots, but that would have been and Eagle, not a Hawk.

Months have gone by since that fateful day for that frustrating feathered fuss-pot of a falcon, and Tripp has undoubtedly told his story many times to his buddies over a beer or two. But just last week, the "Bird Police" caught up with him, fining him $10,000 and charging him with two misdemeanors--cruelty animals and killing a migratory bird.

Since the incident, actually . . . since being charged with a crime for the incident, Isenhour has repeatedly apologized for his actions. To give credence to his claims that he actually loves animals, his family has adopted some cats from a local animal shelter. Shortly thereafter, the family's parakeet went missing.

Ironically, the name of the video he was filming was to be titled "Shoot like a Pro," but now an alternative title has been suggested: "When Golfers go a fowl."