Stop Not Reading My Blog

For all those who have been logging onto my blog for the past two weeks or so expecting to find a new source of inspiration, insight, and entertainment, I apologize for not contributing anything new. Although the last blog entry contained 10 years of professional insight and a lifetime of wisdom, it lacked the characteristic sarcasm, and biting, subtle humor my blogs are known for (among a close-knit group of two.)

For the dearth of deliverance of didactically droll disquisition, I apologize. I have no excuse, only explanations. I have been enjoying my summer. As a teacher, I don't have to "perform" during most of the summer months, and I rather enjoy this time off as a chance to "recharge" my introverted self (*introverted meaning "drawing my energy from within.") Writing these blogs, although is a release from the thought bouncing around in my head, is an exothermic process, requiring the release of energy; therefore, abstaining from this daily habit is a self-preserving mechanism for assuring future blogs of fine, farcical quality.

When I get up in the morning, I'm more concerned now with whether I want a cinnamon-raisin or blueberry bagel my coffee (out of a single-serving mug, as opposed to my 12-cup to-go mug), or opt for a blueberry bagel. I think about which books I'm going to read, which route I'm going to run, what I'll make my wife for lunch on her break, and what exciting things I'll do with my kids. I don't think about what I should blog about.

Up to this point, most of the things I have needed to say, I have been able to express to my wife and two kids, although my son gets tired of hearing about my thoughts on how I can be a better calculus teacher (see the multitude of previous blogs.) On the opposite side of the coin, I don't often write about the things I usually tell my kids. You won't find a blog entitled "How many times do I have to tell you NOT to scream like a girl, TATE!" or "If you want a reason to cry, I'll give you one . . ." Needless to say, my kids have enjoyed their summer with me, but they have also enjoyed their summertime without me.

The best explanation I can give for the paucity of peculiar persiflage and pedantry is that I haven't been around a computer much this summer. Having been in Kansas City for a spell grading calculus papers (see previous blog for mind-numbing detail) where access to a computer meant waiting a 20-minute line on a 15-minute break or paying 10 dollars a day to access it from the hotel room, I kept my blogging to ten times the absolute minimum of zero. Recently, I have spent 10 days in Lake Buena Vista, Florida (also known as the most awesome, magical place in the entire world . . . DISNEY(FREAKIN')WORLD!!!) where access to a computer meant selling your soul to a mouse. Since I've been back, which has only been two days now, I've spent my time unpacking, washing clothes, and trying to find a place to put all the damn souvenirs we brought home. Be assured I haven't been counting all the money I SAVED on the trip. That mouse is an evil temptress, but you love every bit of him. I'll write more about the whole Disney affair in upcoming blogs.

But for now, feel confident that you can log onto your usual source of e-zine, e-swine, and e-brine each and every day. I'll be there at the keyboard putting down my thoughts for everyone's enjoyment, entertainment, and excruciating anguish . . . That is . . . until I head off to Aspen, Colorado in a few weeks for a 10-day backpacking trip in the Hunter-Fryingpan Wilderness Area, where the only excuses for not blogging are the absence of electricity, and the fact that a nerd at a battery-powered laptop in the wild makes you an easy target to hungry bear.

Here's to all the blogs between now and my backpacking trip, and (hopefully) to all that come afterwards.