Mathematical Musings: XVII

Again, another installment of the silly things I've said in class, although I'd deny every bit of it.

• Hurry up and wait your turn.
• I scheduled my alarm for 2:17 so that I’d remember when to turn my alarm off.
• Student: Look Mr. Korpi, I have an idea. Since the schedule this week is all messed up, why don’t we split the assignment up in two. We can do part today and part tomorrow. I think this would be a good compromise. Korpi: What are you—the Henry Clay of Calculus Class
• Today is the first day after the second day before the next day that comes after the previous day last time.
• Please live each day to its fullest. Another Wednesday won’t come around for another week
• When it comes to teaching Calculus, I’m like Pavlov’s dog. When I hear the bell to start class, I start salivating.
• My wife and my favorite time of day is dusk: when our son goes down. He is such a dynamo.
• SURE we can watch a movie next time in class. However, I don’t have a VCR, so we will just have to sit around and stare and the cassette tape. I hope it’s a suspenseful movie!
• I love to get up every morning and look at the photos in the local newspaper. After all, it is the journalistic equivalent of a children’s picture book.
• f I was any stronger in will, I might have the power to consider saying “No”—to nuclear arms.
• Today after school, I will be giving an AP review. If no one shows up, I will still give the review, because that’s just the way I am—a man of my word. Please feel free to walk by and laugh at me through the window.
• The next time I have surgery, I’m going to pay the extra cost to have a STERILE room. It’s money well-spent. And that extra $5 to be off the floor, the cost-benefit-analysis has been DONE, and you should DO it! Unless you like hospital food.
• Student: when is all this weather supposed be good. Korpi: Tomorrow . . . . . . . If you think rain, thunder, mud, wind, and cold are good.
• Welcome 4th period . . . . . . I’ve been expecting you.
• Hurry, hurry on in to class. Seats are going fast!
• Ouch!!!! That look like it hurt worse than dividing by zero!
• This world needs more saber-toothed tigers.
• It appears that all you need to do to be immortalized on the front of Beer-lover’s T-shirts is to come up with a divine sanctioned quoted condoning the consumption of the frothy ale. The only competitor is Ben Franklin. Here’s my contribution. "On the sixth day, God also made beer; this is the primary reason he did nothing on Sunday."
• It’s a sign of our times, and perhaps our self-incrimination, that our 4 \-year-old son knows the meaning of being “voted off” of a television reality show.
• Student: How long will the test take today, Mr. Korpi? Korpi: Well, at least the whole period . . . . or less.
• OK, I know we’ve worked a lot of examples today, so this will be the last one. . . before the next one.
• Feel free to burn me in effigy over the weekend.
• Today as you work on your semester review, think of me as Mr. Radio Shack: you have questions; I have answers. I'll be over here behind my computer chatting with Trekkies.
• Because I accidentally made the final exam a little longer than usual, you will unfortunately not be able to finish it. But the good news is, I will still grade the ones you don't do.
• Man, I feel like Santa Claus in a shopping mall around semester review. This long line of students at my desk waiting to talk to me.