Mathematical Musings: Part V

More things I've said in class.

• Now, I can go to San Antonio by traveling 30 miles to the south or by traveling 21,835 to the North.
• These two angles are complementary, watch. “Hey man, you look acute.” “Thank you, you don’t look so obtuse yourself.”
• Let the calculator store the number in its full decimal glory.
• Have a good strong end. See you on Monday.
• We’re having a special today: All the problems you can present on the board for the same reward of only one half point on a test.
• Y’all have worked really hard this week. I’m proud of you. Why don’t y’all just take the next two days (SAT and SUN) off from school. Y’all deserve it.
• I just can think as lucidly in front of a dry erase board. The refractive index is too high.
• This problem only takes one line, if you start sufficiently far to the left.
• “So the Ferris wheel rider’s position as he approaches the top, Hey I can see my house from here, is 205 ft.
• That last one was a joke grenade. It took a while for you to get the punchline, actually I think that last one was a dud.
• You’ll have to excuse me, for I have very few unspoken thoughts, and my lips cannot usually keep up.
• I know y’all are just really excited, as I am, about being assembled here tonight on our own time to discuss the ever exciting world of mathematics, but I need you to shut up.
• Did you see me at the fair? I was the one wearing my hat.
• Q: Mr. Korpi, why did you take down your students’ Halloween posters? A: Well, first of all, because Halloween is over. Secondly, because they were Halloween posters and Halloween has now past. Do you understand? The Halloween ‘spirit’ is usually not something that lingers.
• The test will look a little different than the review. I think for the review, I used Times New Roman 12-point font. The test will have Times New Roman 14-point font. The problems will be similar though.
• In the spirit of upcoming Labor Day, today we will work our butts off.
• If I have to put the toilet seat down, she should have to put it up. It’s a two-way seat, you know.
• So after all that work, just figuring out the percentage of the swimming pool is filled, we have barely gotten our feet wet. We have much more work to do.
• Label the rate you are trying to find “huh?” and denote it with a question mark. This is your target. Without listing this, you have no target, which means you’re sure to hit it.
• Another good reason to label your target rate as “huh?” is because if the label does not appear in your final equation, you can say, “Hmm, there’s no ‘Huh’.”
• Y’all are awfully quiet today. Are y’all this quiet in all your other first period classes, too?
• In relation to the angle, we want to know the opposite side, and we are given the hypotenuse, sooooooooooooooooooooo, we must use Sine (SOH CAH TOA)
• The bathrooms down the hall are unmarked. The way I remember which door to go in is that Men are always right. This may be untrue, but it takes me to the urinal.
• “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” That means “BE QUIET,” in civilized societies. Thank you.
• Please solve all of your problems in advance. Thank you.
• So when you see that you are given two angles and a side of a triangle, you say, “OOOO, OOOOO, OOOOOO, Law of Sines!”
• If we call this point C, and the other point Shining C, then we are looking for the distance from C to Shining C.
• If you don’t pay your math dues by the next meeting, don’t consider yourself a member of the math club. We have to distinguish ourselves somehow, if not by our intellectual acumen, then by our fiscal dependability.
• I am my most creative when I am deep in pool of melancholy and self-superciliousness.
• They are hoping that the walls are so shiny, bright, and new, that no one will bother looking up or down.
• So, what do you remember the sine of ninety to be from your past trigonometrical experiences?
• Does anybody in here not know there grade and want to see it, or you know it but it was so stellar that you want to see it again?
• I tried to get a sub for you. I selected the only sub on the list that knew math. Then he called me at home and said, “I’m the only math person on the list, but I can only do Geometry or below.” There’s a career opportunity for anyone interested.
• Thank you for that pointless interruption. Please don’t do that more often.
• “Can we have free day today? Can we have a free day today?” “Sure you can, I’ll whoop your butt for free today. I usually charge 5$ for it. AND on top of that I’ll give you two paper clips, at no charge to you.”
• (overheard) “Mr. Korpi is sooo random!” (my response) “You just haven’t figured out my pattern!”
• When homework becomes classwork, classwork will become homework.
• The greatest triumviri of all time was indubitably Curly, Moe, and Larry.
• You cannot throw your old computers away. Please store them until we have our end of the year technology garage sale. –OK, I will be storing them in that dumpster over there.
• When they did the $3 million overhaul of the school, technology was first. They got there own large lab rooms, full of brand new computers, their own data projectors, new furniture, and get this: floor plugs. They must have thought in advance on that one. The new science wing got theirs, too: new lab equipment and the latest in technology: computer lab testing probes, CPUs, and elaborate software. Even the new home economics rooms got their requisite stoves, ovens, vent hoods, and even a dining area. Athletics got a new competition gym, AND a new practice gym! What about the math department? We got stuck into a leftover space, upstairs, away from everybody, where they wouldn’t have to deal with us. Our rooms are brand new, but small, lack trashcans, pencil sharpeners, bookshelves, storage cabinets, and no floor plugs for our overhead calculators. We did get windows overlooking an apartment complex and very small dry erase boards. It’s like they asked us, “What goes into the ideal math classroom, because we want to make sure what not to put in it.” ‘Tis ‘nuff to drive a man mad!
• You have to be very careful when you are solving problems with sine, cosine, and tangent. Simplifying trigonometric expressions can be pretty triggy.
• Oh, I forgot to multiply by the velocity of the plane, -600 miles per hour: one very small detail.
• I wasn’t in the senior class picture, because I wasn’t asked. Besides, most teachers want to be in it as a level of status: their picture is forever captured in the history of New Braunfels High School. I try to achieve my immortality through my work inside the classroom, not smiling for a camera. But, mainly, I wasn’t asked. Anyway, I think they know that I would be the type of teacher who would run around the back to try and get into the picture twice.
• Q: Can I be in the math club if I’m not a member? A: No, it’s really a club for members only.
• --Your name is Andrew, right? --NO, it’s Tina. –Sorry.
• Live well, eat right, have fun: that’s what I always never say.
• (On being asked to open a fixed window in class) I can open it, but closing it again will be a challenge.